DATE NIGHT FRIDAY!

ROSES

By: Demond A. Jackson

Isn't funny how certain people, places and things can affect our lives? It is also uncanny how those same things a way inspiring us by one means or another. A few days ago, I watched the Oscar nominated film, ‘Fences' directed by Denzel Washington who also played a starring role. The messages and symbols were so profound, that I can't seem to get the movie off my mind even though I was only able to see it once. The storyline, cinematography, and its hidden jewel have been imprinted on my mind.

One scene in the movie shook me and the men watching with me to the core. It was touching, emotional, both spiritually and intellectually. Many of the men could not comprehend or refused to admit it’s impact. In the scene: 

Rose goes to her husband’s job and asks him to come home days after he has admitted to her, that he'd been having an affair and the affair has resulted in a child. Rose explained to her husband, how she sacrificed her life, her dreams, and potential for more...just to be his WIFE. She pitifully added, no matter what came her way, regardless of her personal desires she remained committed to her vows for better or for worse, simply holding on tighter to her man.

My heart went out to Rose:

She reminded me of all the women I know past and present who echo her sentiments:

Where would mankind be without Roses?  Those sweet, fragrant, strong beings who love and protect the men in their lives with their heart and soul against insurmountable odds... Those women with character and integrity that can't be measured by beauty or success... The worth of these women, must be weighed by their sacrifice and willingness to go to no end for their families, friends and lovers. These women are fearless queens, as well as wives and mothers of imperfect kings.  They deserve mankind’s ALL, before we allow them to fall.

Once upon a time Rose's were a dime a dozen. Today they are far and few in between. I've heard stories where men like myself found a Rose growing through concrete. Now day's you'll be lucky to find a true Rose in a rose garden.

Far too many women these days have been tainted by the pesticides I call social media, masculinity and materialism. But for those rare %100 Rose's. I salute you, I pray you and I apologize for all the things your ex-man has done, the inconsiderate non-sense men like myself have done and our failure to treat you like you deserve to be treated.

Brother's let's start being mindful of our women’s value. Value a woman's worth and the Rose our mothers and sisters represent. Let us hold them tighter when disloyalty, selfishness and lack of honor crosses our mind. Let's celebrate their worth, knowing that they have sacrificed so much in order to be there for us and with us. When others have led us astray.

My Mother once told me "a hoe will make love to you before she feeds you..." So best believe you can get sex from any woman, but a woman who loves you is concerned first with "Have you ate or not."

Sister, are you a Rose? Dear brother, do have a Rose in your life? Or is she just a Daffodil blowing in the wind today and gone tomorrow?

The movie 'Fences' inspired these words, I am reminded to be more thankful and more appreciative of the Rose's in my life and it moved me to share publicly what I personally got from the movie.  I recommend to all those who haven't had a chance to see the film to go see it!

God Bless the Rose's and may you all continue to grow no matter the weather.

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Demond Jackson is an inmate at the U.S Federal penitentiary in Victorville. DJ as friends call him is currently serving a 60 year sentence for crack cocaine. His case is unique because there was ZERO cocaine seized and his conviction was based solely on word of mouth. Since his incarceration D.J. has authored several different programs aimed to support men with lengthy sentences as well as the first youth mentoring program in B.O.P history.  

Other websites from Demond Jackson:

• Live From Lock Down
• Convict Soap Box
• Meet Demond A. Jackson Featured Contributor!

DJ Welcomes Correspondence, please address letters to:

Demond Jackson #05934088

13777 AIR EXPRESSWAY BLVD

VICTORVILLE, CA  92394

Demond A. Jackson
Men S.T.O.P

DATING AFTER 40 - I'M NOT IN NEED OF SAVING

MARRIAGE IS NOT MY CUP OF TEA

When I was a young woman the mandate for dating is that you should date for the soul purpose of finding a suitable partner for marriage. A Wikipedia article describes traditional dating as: a stage of romantic or sexual relationships in humans whereby two or more people meet socially, possibly as friends or with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in a more committed intimate relationship or marriage. It can be a form of courtship that consists of social activities done by the couple. To that extent, the socially accepted reason for dating is to find a partner to procreate and carry on the tasks society deems the norm.

New research indicates that marriage is primarily beneficial to men. Women work harder make less money and are subject to abuse and philandering on a large scale. Marriage is not really a good goal for a woman who decides to date especially after she turns 40. After 40 most of the child rearing responsibilities are gone. Does these mean women should go out to pasture since they don’t have such demanding parental responsibilities?  What if you decided against children? Is marriage a requirement if you don’t follow a traditional path?

What about sex? Since dating is defined by society as a custom with the ultimate goal of being coupled and being coupled is not in a woman’s best interest according to research are you then supposed to be sent to the corner and be denied of sexual expression?  I’ve decided hell no for myself.

For me dating takes a significant shift after 40. My priorities and expectations have changed. Now that my children are adults I don’t need a co-pilot. I am pretty self-sufficient. I don’t need a man for hunting. I want one for companionship because the social activities don’t just vanish because you don’t have a partner. Of course, you can do solo things. I’m enjoying many solo activities!  However; human nature dictates that we are social creatures. When we become lonely it impacts our health and outlook on life.

Much of the literature I’ve come across pigeon holds women into waiting to be chosen. In my opinion this practice leads to a real thirst trap for women. We are expected to rock back and forth waiting like shelter dogs for someone to adopt us. No wonder women take so much abuse and crap!  You wait and wait to enjoy social activities designed for two and when someone finally lands you don’t want to let go!

My choice is not to sit this stage of life out waiting. I’m going to take this battle to the streets. Why does marriage have to be the ultimate goal?  Why can’t the goal be quality companionship and mutual benefit? For me owning and being owned by another has been a futile and non-productive cycle. I’m sure this is because of my poor choices however; the deed is done and I refuse to punish myself and deny myself the social activities and courtship of dating. Perhaps I will date until I die? Perhaps one of these dates will prove to be fruitful? I can’t see the future but, research shows that having companionship is beneficial to your health. I’m not going to live lonely because I haven’t been picked.

Perhaps I should sit on the sidelines like a wallflower while the others dance, but I’m not. I like to dance, I can dance by myself but it’s fun to dance with others also. That’s why this will be a journey. I don’t have any answers. I hope we can come up with solutions together!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2016/03/14/marriage-is-more-beneficial-for-men-than-women-study-shows/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201510/is-marriage-worth-the-trouble-women

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating